Wipe That Wine Off Of Your Face!

Not that I’ve got anything against good personal hygiene (I bathe once a week whether I need it or not), but I have never given much thought to my mouth’s purple glow that appears after a couple glasses of red wine.

Entrepreneur and wine lover Kimberly Walker, on the other hand, does care about my purple puss. According to a press release out of Los Angeles, Calif., she brought together top chemists, dentists and a sommelier to develop Wine Wipes ($6.95, www.winewipes.com). These moistened pads (think Clearasil wipes) promise to “Wipe That Wine Off Your Smile.”

“How ridiculous!” I said to myself when I got this sample of 20 pads in a compact case with its own little mirror. I gave it little more thought.

Shortly after that, we had the neighborhood over for a going away party for our next-door neighbors Rafael and Rachel Fuentes. One of my neighbors from down the street, Leanna Carlson, confessed to me that although she enjoys its taste, she doesn’t drink red wine because of the temporary staining.

“What a natural test marketing moment,” I thought to myself. I ran inside and grabbed the Wine Wipes and handed them to her. After a glass or so of icky, stain-inducing red wine, she took out the wipes and wiped that wine off her smile. I asked her what she thought. She loved them and joyfully drank the rest of my Fess Parker Pinot Noir, periodically dabbing her lips and teeth.

Well, I figured perhaps I was missing something. So I tracked down a bottle of pitite sirah, infamous for its stain-applying ability, and tried the Wine Wipes. I repeatedly rinsed out my mouth with two glasses of Greg Norman’s Petite Sirah until my wife, Eleanore, said my lips were purple and my teeth a blackish red.

A quick wipe with one of the pads, and Voila! stains gone. In addition, my teeth had that smooth, just-polished feel you get after visiting the dentist. The down side was that the wipes tasted like salty, sour oranges and I felt kind of silly. But for the appearance conscious red wine lovers among us, you can finally unlock the door of your chardonnay prison.

2005 Greg Norman, California Estates, Petite Sirah, Paso Robles, Calif.

• $15

• Two Thumbs Up

• Rich aromas of blueberry, cranberry, smoke and dusty earth. Enjoyable flavors of cranberry, tart, orange rind, blackberry and boysenberry. Big and powerful, a delectable alternative to cabernet sauvignon.